I Want to Induce a Miscarriage - What Should I So?
Are you contemplating an induced miscarriage? How do you view the baby who is growing inside you? Do you see clearly, or are circumstances and life pressures clouding your view? Each woman has to come to terms with what she believes about the beginnings of life in the womb. An unwanted miscarriage helped me to come to terms with what I believe about the beginning of life.
My baby was only ten weeks gestation. Was he/she real? Aside from a questionable heartbeat at my last visit to my obstetrician, everything seemed to be going well with my second pregnancy. It was a hot Sunday afternoon before Memorial Day. We went to the restaurant located in our small-town airport to eat lunch. After the meal, I was feeling pressure so I went to the restroom, sat down on a toilet, pulled down my underpants and discovered bright red blood. Fear began to well up inside me.
At this point, the thought that I might have done something that would have caused an induced miscarriage had not crossed my mind.
My obstetrician met us at the emergency room of the hospital in the next town, 26 minutes away. After examining me, he gently said, "I'm afraid that this pregnancy has ended." I could not believe the words. It was as if I was in some sort of slow motion free-fall. He explained to me how an ultrasound would be done to see what was inside of me, and, then, we would probably do a D&C of my uterus so that I would have a healthy place for my next baby to grow. Next baby? I wanted this baby! Somewhere in my mind, this question loomed: had something happened to cause an induced miscarriage? I faced the wall and began sobbing uncontrollably. When the nurse asked if there was anything she could do for me, I said no. I did not believe anyone could touch this overwhelming and untouchable grief and failure that I felt, and yet, God was there in the pain and loss giving me comfort.
During the ultrasound, my eyes strained for a glimpse of a baby inside my uterus despite the fact that the pregnancy had ended. I saw benign cysts and what they called, "fetal material." What had been growing and had obviously stopped growing was a baby. I saw it! This had to be a baby and not some "fetal material." What did I really believe in my soul about this situation? I wondered what people who chose to induce a miscarriage felt when their pregnancy ended. I could not then and still do not believe that they feel any less empty or sad than I did that day.
Through the experience of losing a baby by miscarriage, I was able to understand heartache and regret. God has given me the opportunity to turn my feelings of emptiness into support for women just like you!
Learn More About Miscarriage.
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