ADHD In ChildrenQUESTION: Does ADHD in children indicate bad parenting?ANSWER:
ADHD in children is most often not due to poor parenting skills, although a child with ADHD can and does stretch and test parenting skills to the limit. It is important to remember that Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is a neurologically-based disorder.
Parenting is a difficult job. There is no manual that tells us what to do at every step, in every situation, with every person. Add to this the willful, obnoxious defiance on the part of some children or a rebellious, selfish attitude in some children and what we end up with is a recipe for difficulty in parenting. When those same parents have a child with ADD/ADHD, the difficulty level rises by a hundred fold -- even for the best of parents.
Parents always need help, support, and encouragement, especially those with an ADD/ADHD child. Parents may also need additional training and information to contend with the challenging issues presented in dealing with ADHD in children. There are times when a good friend or family member can intervene and offer to give the parents a day out -- time for themselves. Sometimes, parents just need a listening ear and words of encouragement. However, there are times when parent training and family therapy may be the best option for parents.
The truth is that we have someone we can turn to in our doubt, fear, or distress when dealing with parenting issues for a child with Attention Deficit Disorder. We also have One who understands and will hold our hand through the struggles of managing Attention Deficit Disorder, whether with our child or alone as an adult. You are not alone.
When we are in deep pain, distress, or fear we can call on and cry out to God:
- Psalm 70:5: “But I am poor and needy; please hurry to my aid, O God. You are my helper and my savior; O LORD, do not delay!”
- 2 Samuel 22:7: “But in my distress I cried out to the LORD; yes, I called to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry reached his ears.”
- Psalm 18:6: “But in my distress I cried out to the LORD; yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry reached his ears.“
- Psalm 25:16: “Turn to me and have mercy on me, for I am alone and in deep distress.”
- Psalm 31:9: “Have mercy on me, LORD, for I am in distress. My sight is blurred because of my tears. My body and soul are withering away.”
We are never alone and when we don’t know what to pray or are stressed beyond what we think we can endure, we are promised a helper: Romans 8:26: “And the Holy Spirit helps us in our distress. For we don't even know what we should pray for, nor how we should pray. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.”
God loves us, understands us, and wants to help us through it all.