Child Abuse Help - My Life Story
Throughout childhood, I was my brother's punching bag. All the frustration he built up from not having parents around, he took out on me. We grew up very angry and violent with each other and since I was smaller, I took the brunt of it. One day, my brother beat me up and I missed the bus. I had to call the neighbor and ask her if she would give me a ride to school. When I arrived at school, I went straight to the principal with big fat eye and huge bruise on my arm! I told him what was going on and he immediately called my mom saying, "This is a family issue and you need to deal with it." My mom promised me it wouldn't happen again, but of course it did. In response, I packed all my things up in 2 small bags, got on my bike, and took off.
The nearest large town was 28 miles away and that is a long ride on gravel roads and a bike! At the nearest paved road, I decided to ditch the bike and hitch hike into town. Eventually, a couple picked me up and I had my first experience smoking pot.
When the police picked me up, I was about 60 miles from home. I made up a story to the police that I had hit my head and didn't know where I was. Of course, they didn't buy it and brought me to the station where my dad was waiting for me. I tried to tell the officer what was going on at my house and why I didn't want to go home, but he sent me home anyway. My dad grabbed me by my throat at the top of the stairs and said, "Don't ever do that again!" My mom again promised me that no one would hit me or hurt me again. That turned out to be another lost promise.
My mom and I got into an argument one night and she slugged me in the face. At that time, I had an open conversation with God and said, "I don't want you right now. I have things of my own that I am going to pursue." I felt so let down by my parents and society that I turned inward and began down my path of self-destruction.
The years that followed were filled with drugs, alcohol, and abuse by the men in my life. I was not only experiencing abuse from others, but I was abusing myself. This continued until college when I hit bottom! Life was full of disappointment, loss, abuse, and failure. It was then that I cried out to God. He provided me with something that I had been missing for all those years! I had heard about Jesus Christ, but I never really knew Him personally. I came to understand that sin separated me from God and that Jesus Christ was the answer to my dilemma. He became my Savior and Lord that day! He became my security and protection.
Are you facing the regrets and hurts of childhood abuse? You are not destined to failure by the circumstances in your life-yesterday, today, or tomorrow. You are included in God's awesome plan of grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love. He is big enough to care about you with all your problems and scars. He is with you in every emotional battle you face. He will guide you to a greater understanding of who He is and how He can save you. He is the way, the truth, and the life in every situation you are facing.
God cares about you and He is intimately aware of what you are going through. He wants to help you forgive those who abused you. One of the hardest things for me to do was to make a decision physically, mentally, and emotionally to forgive the people that caused me these pains. Forgiveness played a vital role in my healing process. I had to forgive myself. The abuse was not my fault and I didn't cause it. Great healing came when I forgave others.
Take away the "I" factor of your life and make it a God factor! Watch the changes that come!