Codependency Recovery - What Does the Bible Say?
The first step in codependency recovery is to understand the true sinful nature of codependency. Once that's accomplished, the key to a long-term recovery is to embrace several teachings found in the Bible. Christians are called to change their behavior by following Jesus Christ's example. In Matthew 5:37, Jesus says, "Simply let your 'Yes,' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' be 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one." Codependents should take time in responding to requests so that they can follow these words of Jesus and not be compelled to answer "Yes," when they really want to say "No." They must give up trying to control people or situations and ask God to give them the strength to trust Him in all things. They must realize and acknowledge that God is in control, and that He loves them and the people around them much more than they do. They must believe that He can work miracles in the lives of others and themselves when they get out of His way.
Codependency Recovery - Following the Great Commandments
Codependency recovery is only possible when people are willing to make changes. Codependents should follow the two greatest commandments: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind…Love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 22:35, 39). If we are to put God first, we must be willing to follow what He commands us to do. Some people might say, "If we are to love our neighbor as ourselves, we must first learn and know what it means to love ourselves." However, Jesus was telling us to give the loving attention to others that we all give habitually to ourselves. "For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it" (Ephesians 5:29).
Codependents must understand God's love of them first. They must realize that they serve an audience of ONE. They must curb their desire to "rescue" people out of their own (deceived) need to be loved or needed. They must learn how to refuse to take responsibility for situations that other people are responsible for, and learn to seek and rely on God to grow these others through their trials. Codependents can learn to help people from servant-heartedness, with no desire for anything in return. When they learn to accept other people's faults, failures and inadequacies, they can refrain from giving advice or trying to fix others unless they are asked for help.
Codependency Recovery - Finding God's Balance
Codependency recovery requires codependents to put God first, believe His Word, to make serious choices, find balance in their schedules, and make family relationships a priority. When they spend time with God first every day, He can multiply their time and guide them through their day with peace and strength. Codependents must learn not to sabotage their lives by allowing people, events, or distractions to keep them from a daily relationship with God. They can be transformed by the renewing of their mind (Romans 12:1-3) by memorizing God's Word, having fellowship with other believers, and communicating with God on a moment-by-moment basis.